Fireduck

1999.06.29

You can win any battle, but you can't win every battle.

I get the feeling that I will figure out what I am looking for about 10 sec after I find it. Maybe then everything will make sense. Well, most things make sense now, but maybe it will seem like it has a point after I find whatever I am looking for. Maybe all it is the search....I kinda hope not. Too many days and nights alone in my own thoughts. Sometimes alone even when others are around. I hear their words but the words make no impact, mean nothing to me. Sometimes they are everything, sometimes it is just the whining of insects that just fusterats me if I try to listen. I just like the rain. It is soothing. I wish it was raining now. I was just listening to riders on the storm by the doors. It has rain. Reminds me of it. I htink I really need to go walking in rain, better yet durring thunderstorm. Maybe I can get one of the other odd souls who likes that sort of thing to join me. Then maybe I wont be so damn alone. I should really stop bitching. It is addictive. I'm not done till I'm dead, or I beleive I am. I refuse to accept defeat. That one has kept me going a few times. I think I need to go west. and get out of this hole. Not that this is a bad place, it's just that if you go somewhere else and are thrown into things you weren't ready for you have to actually think and grow. Not just sit here and be comfortable and stagenate. tech should be good for soemthing new. I adapt faster than most people I think. From having people who exepected alot of me and moving alot. You learn to be observant and keep your mouth shut when you don't know whats going on, and how to take a little initiave and be a role model for others when you do know whats up.

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