Fireduck

1999.08.10.5

I think that I really like how this page is going. I think I will make a mailing list. This list will notify people when the page is updated and also be for general disccusion. Drop me an e-mail if you want to be on the list. Never sell out...when you do, you exchange something of value to you for something of value to someone else. Just thought of something that is kinda comforting. Above all physical things that I posses, the thing I cherish most is my writting. It is the way I can link the present with the past and see how I have moved. For example I reread this page. Remined myself of some stuff I was thinking about just a month or two ago. Was intersesting. Amplify that over years and the effect can be profound. Anyways, I value my writting. Maybe that is just conceit that if consider them important, maybe it is love of the past, but taht is not the pointof my statement. I am saying that I consider this page valuable. The thing that comforts me is that I have taken no special effort to see that it is preserved. I am trusting the backup solution that is in use for every other peice of user data on this server. My page is no more important than any of their files. They are protected the same. It strikes me as good that I consider my data no more important than other users, and that I trust my work even for this. It is that whole doing a job well thing. As I said before, I choose my battles, and I like to think that the ones I choose I do well. Maybe not the best I can do, but fairly well done.
My fingers feel funny. Probaly because they are covered with ink. That is what I was doing some art with. Drew something exploding with ink on a computer case here, and labeled it shit happens. I kinda like it. Don't know if I will in the morning, but I suspect that either way I will be too lazy to do anything about it, so it will be preserved. That is kinda funny. I read something in a book today: nothiung in the universe is forever. People change, rocks are worn away, rivers move, planets die, everything changes...and I think that what I do might last. Foolishness. Reminds me of something Mr ruffin was taking about (yes, I was listening, while most of the rest of the class was thinking about how boring it was). He said that historians learn about people from back-in-the-day from letters...corespondance and such. He proposed the question of, how will people in a hundered or 500 years learn about what people did today? In this age of phone and e-mail and throwing everything away? There are newspapers and burucratic records, but they don't say who a person really is. Will what I do today be felt tomorrow? What will the net effect of my existance be? Probably more conceit...I want to be important, I want my words to be read and understood. I want to make someone who I have never even meet think about something in a new way....Oh well, maybe I will, maybe not. I'm not sure I really care. You can't make something think. The idea is contradicotory. If you want to think, you probably have a preconceived notion of what they should think about or how they should think. Thinking, truly thinking impies (at least to me) creative analysis of infomation. That creativity inherent in human thought will mostly likely yeild results contrary to what you think they should think. You can only lay out what you see and learned, and suggest to someone to draw their own conclusions or not. Actualy, there are ways to get people to think, but they are mostly illegal. If you stab someone in the eye, and dump their bleeding body in the desert somewhere, you can bet good money that person will be doing some intense thinking. Like, what the fuck did jerk-off stab me for? Why in the middle of the desert? How long till I bleed to death? Will I have two eyes ever again? Will I get out of this? How will I get out of this? That last one is probably the most prominant one...if you want to make someone think, turn their world upside down. Change makes us stronger, but sometimes also more savage.

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