Fireduck

1999.09.10

Power addict...I am a power addict...I love power...phycologicly I seem to think that I can weild it better than everyone else so, naturally it should be mine. I never really think of it that way, but when I look back at how I feel after certain things and at certain times, it is the only thing that explains how I feel. I think I should avoid that kind of thinking....which means I must think about it, I must emerse myself in that idea for a while, and understand everything good and everything bad about it...only then can I move past it...taking whatever peices I like with me and discarding the rest...the best way to avoid something is not to run away, but to face it and know where it lies. I must decide what features set who I am. I decide who I am and who I am not. I will not be power hungry, but I will be a good leader if someone chooses to follow me. I have decided that. The tricky part is seeing what changes I need to make in myself to make that happen...from the large concepts of thought to the small detail of a single action.
I think just about any problem can be solved if you can succicently get your mind around it and keep that idea in your head....I don't know where I heard the phrase "get your mind around it", but I like it. I think it really well describes what I am talking about. For example, I know this wall in my room, but I don;t have my mind around it. To really understand it, I have to know how thick it is, how far it goes down that I can't see, is it load bearing? Is there anyhting (pipes, wires, elves) inside it? What other rooms touch it? Is it exterior? These are all things I have to know to get my mind around the concept of that wall. I have to know what it effects and what effects it. And also very importantly, how it effects me. Before, durring and after I do something to it.
Reminds me of a theory I was disscussing with wb a while ago....you only fail once you don't know what to do next. Suppose you have a plan call A. And plan A will either succeed or fail. Suppose you have anouther plan B that you will execute if plan A succeedes, and a plan C to execute if A fails. And for B and C you also have plans for their success of failure. Then, no matter what happens to plan A, you have anouther plan for what to do next. You only really fail when you don't know what to do next...when you can't see the path from your current position to the goal in mind....this theory is based on the somewhat faulty concept that you can guage everything that will happen as a finite number of anticpatable outcomes and have plans for each of those outcomes. Shit happens, so probably the most import is how well you can improvise. Really good improvisation is also called "stick it to the man". That is pronouned as quickly as possible with some hand motions to go with it. Suppose you are walking down the street and a dwarf saws off your leg. Picking up your leg and beating the dwarf with it, is excelent improvisation and therefor a good way to stick-it-to-the-man. If you are good at sticking it to the man, and getting away with it, you can beat an advisary from an inferior position. Why buy supplies when you can steal them from you enimies? Why steal supplies when you can trick their infistructor to delivering them to you? Why train troops when you can sneak them into the enemies training programs, thus wasting their resources and gaining trailed troops as well as spies. Stickittotheman!

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