Fireduck

2000.11.09

I am feeling squirly again. Who wants to fight? This 3 day election/erection is getting old. Bush is a monkey...Gore is a robot. Eh, whatever. Probably wont matter to me much anyways. Unamerican.com rules. Go there. I love the way this guy thinks. I beleive that if you arn't confused you arn't thinking. Sure, you can answer questions, do math problems, write, whatever while not being confused...but if you do that, you are never really thinking...you are just regergitating things you already beleive. Once when you are faced with a situation that defies your concept of reality (confusion) do you really think. You realign/change your concept of reality to incorporate whatever new data you have aquired. Or you deny that it ever happened and don't think at all. My advise to anyone, and especialy myself is to not look at today like you did yesterday. Dont think of it as a present that is minute in duration compared to the length of the past and future, but look at today as world created today that will be gone tomorrow. Look at the present as some that you will have to live in and with. Oppertunities today may be gone tomorrow. But what you did today will always be with you. Do something. On saturday I built a set of shelves. I felt more alive than I have in a long time. It wasn't like I saved a life or parted the red sea....I just built something. I did something. I engaged in an activity and created something I can look at with some sense of ackomplishment. Try to do that everyday. Every night, ask yourself...what have I done today. If you can't give a good answer...it is no good. You dont have to build something..you dont need to do anything big...just something. Like "I read a book and it made me think" or "I worked out a problem that has been bothering me" or "I spent time with my woman"....just do something. Otherwise: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE? DONT YOU REALIZE YOU ARE GOING TO DIE. Your days are numbered. Who knows what that number is..but every day you spend sitting on your ass watching TV is one less day to be alive. Make some noice...break shit...build shit...make other people give you money...sell crack...figure out a way to light water on fire....but good god DO SOMETHING. Dont just sit there masterbating, procrastinating and complaining about stupid shit. I have spent so many days like that, it is sick. I am tired of it...they wont take me alive. By that I now mean I will fight. I will fight apathy. I will fight the school system...I will fight capitalism...I will fight sleep. I will not go quietly into the night. I dont mean that I am going to burn down the school or the country...but I will participate more...I will be sitting in the front of the class questioning your preconceptions...I will no longer just quietly complain from the confines of my dorm/cell.

Maybe in the end it will be decided that I was a poor player, wasting my hour on the stage, full of sound and fury signifying nothing, but at least I will make some noise. I may not be listened to, but I will be heard.

If the room is quiet, you should speak.
If the room is noisy, no one is listening.

For now, my first fight is CS. Fuck you barnette. You may be the devil, but sit down in that chair right there and let me show you how its done.

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